How to Deal with Setbacks & Failures
No matter what you've accomplished in your life or where you've been, chances are you've hit rough patches before.
We all deal with stress differently, some of us are better at coping with it than others, but we all experience it. Deep inside we all know it'll pass, so we try to move along until it does the best we can.
Some of us get more productive and actively re-write the script, some of us take a minute to recharge and get stronger. There is no right or wrong way to cope with difficult circumstances or a shitty hand you got dealt.
But there are a few practices that could help along the way. Breathing, meditating, exercising, spending time in nature and eating right are the ones that do wonders for most, and you've heard all of those before.
So try all of the above and see if you get better.
The other 5 steps are the following:
- Admit That You've Fucked Up
It is never easy to acknowledge that we've failed. But it is necessary so we can start the process of healing, learning and recovery. It is important to admit failure without using excuses or defence mechanisms, because after acceptance follows growth and, unfortunately, you cannot skip any steps.
- Allow Yourself to Feel Shitty
We are all human and emotions and feelings are normal. It's okay to let yourself experience them to the fullest and allow yourself to fully feel your feelings instead of bottling everything up. Once you allow yourself to "break down", it will be easier to rebuild on a strong foundation.
- You Are Not a Fuckup Just Because You Fucked up
Remind yourself that you might've failed, but YOU are NOT a failure. That setback does not define you and you have everything you need to move forward. Remind yourself of how brave you are for taking a chance and trying something new. Brene Brown does a great job at explaining how you can fail brilliantly, so I highly recommend to read or listen to her work.
- Analyze What Happened
After you had a chance to heal your emotional wounds, use the setback to your advantage and learn from it. Break it down, understand what happened, and see how you can use the information going forward. There is no doubt that you will have more setbacks in the future, it just would be great to fail differently next time.
- Give Yourself a Pat on the Back & Make Your Mess Your Message
The one that people often don't attribute a lot of time to is taking a step back and recognizing how far you've come. Many of us are too humble to admit that we are great at something or there is something that we can do really well. Now is the perfect moment to acknowledge how far you've come and how much you've grown.Use the tough times to reflect on how resilient you are.
Give yourself a pat on the back and some credit for being strong and ambitious.
Find inspiration in the outside world and use your setbacks to help others. It's okay to share what you have learned through your experiences as it can help others on their journey to success. Support others and let them support you through your challenging times.
If you are hardworking, kind, and, generally, positive person, trying to hustle, learn and grow, then chances are, you are on the right track.
If you realize that something is lacking, that's alright.
Now is also a great time to reflect on how you've ended up where you are and ask yourself what you need to do going forward. Adjust, figure out a strategy, re-work or create a game plan, if you will, and get back into it.
You might be exhausted, doubting yourself and your ability to succeed.
You might be listing all the reasons why you don't deserve that person or that opportunity.
You might even have a seemingly full list of why you are not good enough.
Again, take a minute to acknowledge how far you've come.
Silence that silence critic in your mind. You are good enough.
Keep going. You are getting better every minute.
Many people don't even get to this point, so you are definitely doing something right.
Today you are way better than you were yesterday because you learned and persevered.
Yes, you might've hit a roadblock.
Yes, you might be feeling like you are not progressing as fast as you want to.
That's all part of the process and you knew that.
You knew when you started that it wouldn't be easy but definitely will be worth it.
Keep going. Keep learning and practicing.
You will have setbacks and you might have to stand still for a bit.
You might even have to go back a few steps and rethink your strategy, and that's okay.
You are growing, perfecting your skills and getting better with each step and turn.