Why you're not "perfect"
Many of us were raised on Disney movies, fairy tales and happy endings. And most likely, many of us were probably often confused by the fact that what's on screens rarely matched the "perfect" reality in front of us. With parents not always happy, loving or together. We've seen people fighting, struggling, hurting and breaking up. A few of us, who are luckier than most, were raised in balance and harmony, by people who loved each other deeply and unconditionally, listened well and were understood, spoke up and felt heard. For a handful of us, our growing up process was without major hardships or drama, and, maybe, even resembled a fairy tale with a happy ending.
For many of us though, it was probably not the case and life didn't seem always balanced or even close to "perfect". The definition of perfection, most of us grew up with, was probably flawed, confusing, sometimes complicated and challenging.
Disney movies inspired women to be a certain way of beautiful, a certain way of feminine, and to search for a prince to save them while they are young. Men were encouraged to have it all figured out, to be strong physically and emotionally, to be a saviour, a guardian and a provider all in one package, most often, also young. Weakness, vulnerability, diversity of any sort wasn't really a thing.
Fast forward years later, you can find majority of us all grown up and desperately trying to understand what "perfection" really is. We are questioning the values and norms we were brought up with. We are trying to re-write our stories and re-wire our brains. We realize that what we were preconditioned to believe about ourselves, life, goals, relationships and love, does not always make sense, and, in some cases, is simply not true.
Women can be young, beautiful, married and have kids before 30 and maybe not have a successful corporate career. Women can also be young, successful, ambitious, traveling around the world, maybe not ready for kids before 35, maybe not willing to have kids ever, and that's fine too. Women can be older and not married, or divorced, maybe with their 3rd husband or wife. Maybe with kids, maybe without. Maybe own a business, maybe be a corporate mogul, maybe a home maker. Maybe a single mother, maybe the breadwinner for the family. They can be a female of color, part of LGBTQ+ community, have visible disabilities or belong to any other minority group out there. And regardless of which box they are checking off, they are still perfect. Maybe not the traditional Disney "perfect", but definitely perfect in their own way.
The same goes for men. They can be young and extremely successful, maybe own a business or 3. They can be married or divorced, maybe even a few times. Men can be vulnerable, nurturing and kind in their approach. They can be single dads raising families or supporting their women who are the breadwinners. Men can take paternity leaves, and there is nothing wrong with that. Men can be great at cooking, cleaning and helping around the household, while making more money or being the sole breadwinners of the household. Men, just like women, can belong to any community and minority group, and deserve a sit at the table, regardless of how different they are.
There is no one type of perfection, no defined roles and norms.
The times have changed and it's up to us to defy the stereotypes of "perfection" that we've been observing on screens. It's okay to not be "perfect", you are supposed to be unique. We have all the power to create our own "happily ever after" that's ideal for just us. We are all responsible for creating our own different way of perfection, where gender, color and status of any sort don't determine where you fit in life. The only person who decides where you fit in is YOU.
Where do you fit in?