Who do you want to struggle with
Mandatory self-distancing and quarantine due to the Coronavirus aggressively spreading around the world is not not easy for most. By now, some are realizing that they are in love with or dating the wrong person because being together 24/7 really tests your relationship and personalities. The worst part is you can't really leave and have to persevere until the pandemic is over. It's also hard for everyone without a significant other to be locked in self-isolation for weeks. Yes, you can use the internet to connect, but it's not the same. Nothing can compare to a face-to-face interaction.
Which brings us to thinking who would you want to struggle with during these trying times?
Every person has flaws and imperfections, and that's the beauty of a relationship. There is something magical about two imperfect people coming together and creating something flawed and beautiful at the same time. But not all flaws are created equal and sometimes you have to choose what imperfections you are okay with and which ones are a deal breaker.
You can't make someone change, so the only way to create a happy relationship is to be with a person whose flaws you can live with and, maybe, even appreciate. A great relationship removes judgement and allows both people to confront their flaws, while creating a safe place to heal and grow. It is important to recognize that a great relationship is about compromise and thinking about the needs of the other person, but it should never make you feel less or make you treat yourself as such. Your life, value and self-worth should never be consumed by the person whom you are in love with.
Often relationships change people, some for the better and some for the worse. And the interesting part about this process is that you don't necessarily know which category you fit in until way later. The ugly truth is that you can't see the full picture when you are in the frame. You have to get out to see more clearly. And when you do, you might realize that you've changed and are no longer the person they fell in love with in the first place. Maybe it's for the better, maybe it's not, but one thing is for certain - you get a chance to fix things. After all, honest communication and determination to make things better, is what loving someone is all about.
Loving someone doesn't mean that you have to fix all of their problems, always sacrifice yourself to put them first, and resolve every issue in your relationship. On the contrary, that's why relationships don't last. Loving someone means putting the relationship first and letting go of some issues and disagreements without a clear resolution.
Sometimes, loving someone means being temporarily selfish and accomplishing your personal goals even though it puts a strain on a relationship for a period of time.
Happy and successful couples know that each person in the relationship has a responsibility to grow, develop and be full 100% on their own, so when they come together they create a 200% power couple. Both people should strive to grow, support and inspire each other to achieve more.
Loving someone means asserting your independence, respecting boundaries and maintaining some hobbies or interests that are yours alone. Your partner is not responsible for completing you, but instead they should inspire and encourage you to complete yourself.
Loving someone means not losing yourself in the relationship and occasionally getting some distance from your partner.
Give your relationship room to breathe and grow, and remember to let your significant other see you from that third person perspective just like that time when they first met you. They were fascinated with your independence, there was mystery and strength that was magnetizing. You had your own life, your own friends and maybe you even traveled on your own. Tap back into that so your relationship maintains the spark.
Your relationship should experience struggle at times, as it not only allows you to appreciate the good times more, but also reminds you that both of you are growing. Your partner should hate to see your potential being wasted and should gently push you to accomplish what you are capable of. They should not be afraid to tell you the truth, disagree with you or call you out on your bullshit sometimes. Relationships require honesty, trust, openness and commitment. Some people get there faster and make it look effortless, but don't be fooled, they are working really hard behind the scenes and you just don't get to witness the difficult conversations, the important discussions, the hurt feelings, misunderstanding and everything in between.
Behind the scenes work is not easy, but it's worth it and the couples who are successful, do just that. They work hard on their relationship behind the scenes. They constantly try to be better for themselves and their significant other, and nurture their bond.
People in great relationships never feel inferior and always see each other as equal partners. Your soulmate should encourage you to achieve more and not be afraid of your exponential growth. They love you with so much conviction, that they don't ever doubt even for a second that you are capable of achieving all of your dreams and goals. They will be there to catch you if you fall, so you might as well keep climbing higher. They are not afraid to be left behind either, because they are also growing exponentially, and they know you'll be there to catch them too.
Great relationships are not found, they are built.
They require constant work and a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other. Without that mutual admiration, everything else will unravel, because Happily Ever After doesn’t exist. Every day you get to decide to love your partner and your life—the good, the bad and the ugly. Some days it’s a struggle, especially during the Coronavirus self-isolation, and some days you feel like the luckiest person in the world. There is no perfection. There is always struggle and you just have to choose who you want to struggle with.