• The Savvy Millennial

Happy Alone

Many of us have only just recently realized the importance of being okay alone in our own company. The new reality of Lockdown Living is harsh for many. Couples have to adjust their routines and set new boundaries. As they are seeing their partner more often than they are used to, many might be developing co-dependent tendencies that are harmful for their relationship. There are also many people in abusive relationships without support or a way out. Single people are dealing with panic and anxiety as they are reminded daily that they have no one to pass the time with and no one to confide in during these trying times. The Coronavirus is impacting us all.

When jobs, hobbies and any numbing distractions are removed, when we are stripped away from all the excuses and activities we have previously engaged in, we are left with our true and real selves to deal with. We are used to making ourselves busy so we don't have to face all of our deep fears, but, now, we have no choice but to encounter them head on. We are presented with an opportunity to work through our issues and trauma, and start living a more authentic and fulfilling life. Mandatory self-isolation is forcing a lot of people to re-evaluate their priorities and start dealing with their internal demons.

Now is the perfect time to learn to be happy alone. It is not going to be easy, especially if you are not used to it, but it is definitely going to be worth it.

It is important to point out that being alone and being lonely are two completely different concepts. One can be powerful and recharging, while the latter is a negative and destructive feeling. Most often, one comes from a place of abundance, while the other comes from a place of lack.

Here are 3 tips on how to be happier alone:

First step

Is to safely explore your fears, welcome your pain and anxiety, embrace the uncertainty. Remember that all of your feelings are valid, so move through and observe them. As you do that, start healing yourself through feeling your emotions. The only way to get better is to go THROUGH the uncomfortable experiences. Sit with your thoughts, listen to your inner voice and get to the root of your discomfort.

You have got to feel it to heal it.

Second step

Is to be kind to yourself, learn to enjoy your own company and become your own best friend. Start with building trust and keeping promises that you make to yourself. Self-reflect, meditate and stop judging yourself. Explore your strengths and get comfortable with your weaknesses. Remind yourself that you are enough and you have everything you need within you to succeed, so focus on the daily progress. As you become more self-aware, you will focus more on the essential things that add meaning and value to your life. Acknowledge all the things you are grateful for and fall in love with your 'flaws' as they make you unique.

Love is the magic that turns everything you have into enough.

Third step

Is to take care of yourself, date yourself, become your own best friend and find activities that bring you joy. Become your own entertainment and don't allow yourself to get bored with your own life. Spend more time with yourself and consciously choose to nurture and grow your mind, body and soul. Find a creative outlet, try something new and step out of your comfort zone. Explore your talents, find opportunities to express them without needing validation from others.

The reality of it all is that many of us build our 'home' - our safe and secure space in the wrong place and rely on others to maintain it. Your 'home' should always be within you, so this way wherever you go, it'll always be there. Spend more time nurturing it instead of trying to create 'home' somewhere else.

Realistically, we are the only people we can guarantee ourselves to be with for the rest of our lives, so it only makes sense to start getting comfortable around ourselves and learn to love to spend time in our own company.

The truth is that no one other than ourselves is responsible for our happiness, fulfillment or growth. No one other than ourselves can make us truly happy. This feeling comes from within and no external circumstances can help us achieve inner peace. Of course, it does not help that we are always connected and are rarely alone these days. There are always so many distractions, things to do, people to meet and events to attend that we never really get a chance to be alone, unless we consciously choose to.

So we have to start pushing ourselves to get comfortable with recharging solo. Learning to be comfortable alone is healthy and necessary, as it protects us from disappointments, insecurities and many self-destructive habits and coping mechanisms.

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