Dating in 2020
Relationships in 2020 for many people are confusing, to say the least.
Even before the pandemic, things have been interesting. And now that the coronavirus shifted everything, a lot of us are unclear of how to proceed.
It seems like there is an unspoken code that you have to follow, yet no one really knows what the rules are.
And the truth is - we are all trying to figure it out and do the best we can. Pretty much faking it till we make it, if you please.
There is no formula, no magic blue print, and no one way the things should be.
Finding that one person, perfect for you in the digital age should be easier than ever. There are just so many resources. How can you not?
But that's part of the challenge. The overload of information and dating apps, makes the process transactional and takes some of the magic away making relationships more of a commodity.
Throw the global pandemic in the mix, and it's a total sh!t$how.
You can't help but think that if you keep swiping, a better partner will come along.
There's always someone else out there. Someone better.
When, in fact, that's just not the case.
There are definitely more people in the queue and if you keep swiping you will probably encounter many of them, but building a meaningful relationship requires some serious effort and time.
You could spend all of your time swiping and hoping to find that one perfect person, but you could also invest more time into building a great relationship.
Great things require time and care.
The sooner you start investing, the faster you will see the results and reap the benefits of your actions. You know, grass is always greener where you water it. So start watering.
Whether you want a long-term relationship or not, the truth is, each swipe will steal your attention, time and energy. Even if you are a pro, and 'copy-paste' is the function you fancy, you will still need to get to know another human, even a little bit, before you can make a decision on how to proceed.
Maybe, just maybe, it's worth it to give this whole relationship thing a try and commit to that one person for a bit, nurture the bond and see where it all goes.
Because the truth is perfect relationships don't exists. We, as human beings, are conditioned to always want more. So even if we find an incredible person, we'll most likely find something that's missing and will try to relentlessly pursue that.
Really great relationships are not easy to create or maintain. They require work, effort and great communication between partners. Great relationships are built on trust, vulnerability and mutual understanding.
So what is the secret to finding a great partner?
The secret is to fall in love with a person who is both, your safe place and your biggest adventure.
That's the way to get through the awkward, uncertain and challenging times.
The truth is that relationships of any kind have never been easy and the beauty about dating now is that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it.
Over the past centuries and decades everything has changed so much that there are no more rules and norms, really. Women are not staying at home to just cook, clean and raise children and many men are no longer the sole breadwinners.
Easy access to information really helped a lot of people to become more emotionally intelligent and better at communicating with one another. Nowadays, you really are free to create your own fairy tale that feels right for you.
But how? You may ask.
The only must is RESPECT, and everything else can be built around it.
The missing and confusing blanks can be filled with open and honest communication.
Falling in love is a messy process. Embrace it. It always has been and it won't become less messier in 2020. Technology helps, especially during the pandemic lockdown, however, it does come with it's own set of issues.
Humans are complicated feeling machines and having a connection and creating a meaningful bond is not supposed to be easy and seamless. It's about adjustment, understanding and compromise. And 2020 is all about that.
A great relationship is about accepting each other's differences, whatever those may be.
It's also about considering someone else's feelings before your own and, at times, putting their needs first.
It's about compassion, listening and supporting someone, even when your own life is not perfect.
It's about communicating openly about your desires and wants and respecting boundaries.
It's about being able to handle the tough and uncomfortable conversations with an open mind, grace and a welcoming heart.
And if you are still not ready to do the above, then maybe it's a great time to spend 2020 investing some energy into self-discovery than a relationship with another person.